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How to have difficult conversations about Christmas

Young family enjoying Christmas lunch

Last updated:

15 December 2022

It’s no secret that it’s been a tough year for most of us when it comes to money. The cost of our bills, food, well... everything(!) is rising while our wages are typically not rising along with it.

So Christmas, and all the costs that come with it, can make you feel anything but jolly when there are so many financial expectations. 

First off, if you’re stressing out at all, check out our blog We need to talk about Christmas, where we go through budgeting, debt, tips etc. 

We’ve highlighted some conversations you may want to – or must – have and some tips on what you can say.  

How many presents will be under the tree

You may be worried that your little ones will be disappointed about not opening as many presents on Christmas morning as they are used to.

Whether they are older and know ‘the truth’ or little still, you’re going to have to have a conversation about money. Our guide on how to talk to your children about money is a great place to start.

If your child is older, then a good option is to be honest and talk about how as a family, you’re all going to have to tighten your belts. Consider setting a budget based on what you can afford and ask your children to come up with items they really want that fit within it.

Here are some posts you might find helpful:
  • How to talk to kids about the cost of living
  • Three tips on talking to your kids about money
  • How I talk to my children about cost-of-living rises

If you have little ones who are still excited to get a visit from Santa himself, you could say that he doesn’t have enough room in his sleigh to carry loads of gifts for every child and getting just a couple makes things fair.

Make sure to reassure your children that they are safe and secure, and Christmas really isn’t about presents, but about spending time together having fun.

I can’t afford to go to Christmas parties

Love them or hate them, December is party season, and you may find yourself invited to one or two. Some are easy to shoo away if you’re “double booked” (wink wink), but there may be others you feel you are obligated to attend, such as a work or family do.

If you feel comfortable enough, honesty is great. Owning that discomfort is important because you’re helping normalise these difficult conversations. ‘Oh I’d love to come, but unfortunately it’s just not in my budget at the moment’. Most people understand the financial pressures people are facing at the moment. This might be the route you have to go down if you need to pay a deposit or pay in advance.

If not, and if you don’t feel like you can be honest, you can always fib or just decline to give a reason.

Find your way forward

The pandemic and the rising cost of living have left lots of people with new money worries.

Whether you’ve been caught off guard by higher bills and payments, uncertain income or the loss of a job, we can help you find your way forward and take the first step towards getting on top of things.

Santa gave kids at school more than me

When it comes to cost-of-living rises, we’re all in the same storm, but some people may have better boats! It can be heartbreaking to see your child disappointed if they find out that other children may have fared better at Christmas, so it is important to let them know that it has nothing to do with them. It’s not that the other child was better behaved or liked more by Santa. You don’t want them to blame themselves.

You could be completely honest if they are old enough. If you want to keep the magic alive, mention that his sleigh isn’t big enough to hold too many toys, so must split them in the best way possible.

I can’t afford to buy presents for you

When it comes to family and friends, honesty is the best policy. And you know what, they are probably feeling the pinch too, so might be grateful you brought the conversation up.

Read our guide How to have a conversation about money on how to practically get these chats started

Join our Facebook groups

Join our Facebook groups where you can chat with people who are in a similar boat to you.

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Charlotte Burns
Author Charlotte Burns
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